10-26-07 ((been awhile))

So haven't written in awhile, nothing really big has happened. Last sunday we ended up going to kerrys work picnic, crazy huh? it was pretty fun i must admit. Started my new geography class, it's pretty boring, we don't do much of anything. But that's allright with me. Last night was kind of a rough night for me. Me and jordan had nothing really to talk about so i asked him if there was anything about him that i didn't allready know, it was pretty funny because one of the things i didn't know was that he thinks about sex like every 2 minutes, but that doesn't suprise me, i mean he's a guy come on, i also learned that it's hard for him to not flirt with people, that didn't bug me because i kind of have the same problem, i tend to give long hugs but it's guys i've known like all my life. So when he said the flirting thing i kind of wonfered who he was flirting with, so i asked if he liked anyone at his school, and i wish i wouldn't have because he said that he did. I didn't wannah ask anything else because i knew i would prolly end up regreting it. But of course i did. He told me that he thinks he only likes her because she's cute. That was not assuring at all. Ever since we started going out i secretly thought that jordan deserved to be with someone prettier. I know that sounds retarded. But i just have always thought that i should be prettier for him. And the fact that he's lusting over girls because of their looks was like a big blow. I feel really really ugly and just not good enough.We talked everything over and he told me that he loved me and had feelings for me and that i had nothing to worry about. That i was soo much more then good looks or something like that. But it still really worries me. I know he isn't going to do anything with her i mean he aint like that. But it's the fact that he could have her whom is right there with him alll the time, and i'm alllllllllllllllll the wayy over here. I'm sure i'll get over this and the thought of all thsi will go away but it's still kind of hard to think of. I mean i personally think that jordan is effing hott. There's not any guys at my school like him, there's some cute ones, but i don't think about them enough to feel like i "like" them. Jordan also told me that he worries about that sorta thing all the time, about me being at school with guys, guys tend to hit on me, i think it's funny soo i tell jordan about it. I guess i shouldn't. but i think that guys that hit on girls are worthless, it's not cute to me at all, it's a big turn off, i guess he didn't know that. I really love jordan, it's all happening soo fast, i was thinking last night and i realized how much i love him, most girls have their boyfreinds and then they have their bestfriends that they run to when they have a problem witht he boyfreind, but i go to jordan for everything that happens, jordan is my best freind, he's my world, i'm not real sure what i would do if i lost him. That's all i really got to sayy right noww.peacee